22nd July 2019

2.4 Creative Writing

It is early winter. The mornings have been overcome with minimum light, letting the creatures hide in the shadows. The crisp air bites aggressively against anything that dares being exposed, it shows no mercy. The frost sneakily rests itself upon the grass hiding what was ever so green and lively, like a misleading blanket. The dark toned atmosphere hovers over everything present, leaving a gloomy and sorrowful imprint.

Look, the lonely forest hiding behind the house awaits for a friend. Its thick trunks rise into the depressing grey clouded sky. Its rough thin arms reach out for something to trap in its maze of decaying wood. Left to right, left to right. The tips of the trees sway in synchronisation like trained dancers. The forest floor is littered with lifeless leaves that were once blossoming and awake. Dark shadows engulf the hidden corners that are not visible from the safe distance that is advised.

It is Saturday morning and time for discovery is endless. All beds in this muted town are filled, except one. The boy has no time to rest as his friends await him. He jumps around the silent house in search of his aged rubber boots. The door slams behind him. His adventure begins and the creatures spring to life from his mind. Come creatures come. Play, laugh, run, hide, chase. The boys imagination runs wild like a livid river. The rhythm of his heart quickens the further he travels into the summoning forest. The inconsistent breeze whispers into his ear. Its words making the boy jolt and shiver, causing his smooth skin to transform into an uneven surface of paltry bumps.

Listen to the heavy breathing and the crackle of leaves under each heavy step. The flap of the crows midnight black wings as they lift its fragile body higher and higher while its enraged squawks echo throughout the vast sea of trees. Hear the snapping of twigs in the nearby distance and the footsteps that are followed with it. From every corner of the forest the swoosh of the trees fill the air as the creatures speedily run past them. Their childish giggles destroy the lull of the expanse and grow louder and louder. Their hush murmurs build into full words as they approach hastily. Then their humanly traits disappear. Growls and sniffles commence like infuriated wolves hunting their prey. Hear his mind ticking like a working clock that is consistently operating to keep his friends alive.

And then you can feel them. Their warm breaths on the back of your neck. Your body stiffens, mimicking the elderly trees that surround your fragile corpse. The lack of sunlight weakens you and the sudden overwhelming of darkness blinds your eyes. Small pressure begins to rest on your quivering shoulder. Your body flicks around to see the harsh reality that stands in front of you. Emptiness. The fantasy world that you immersed yourself in deteriorates around you and your creature-like friends are nowhere to be seen. A deep feeling of loneliness is all you are left with. Your imagination has failed you.

Join the conversation! 2 Comments

  1. Hi Ines,

    You are definitely on the right track with this! Keep working on building that clear, rich imagery for your reader so they can imagine themselves inside this scene.

    Use the commands to guide the focus of your paragraphs.

    Remember to use the features of gothic fiction that we have discussed as a class: connections between emotions and the weather, the foreboding/uneasy sense of the scene, strong precise verbs and language with clear connotations. You are using personification well at the moment so keep that up too.

    Mrs. P

    Reply
  2. Hi Ines,

    Well done for working steadily on this.

    During your final hours of assessment, I encourage you to think about:

    Addressing the technical errors in your work. At the moment, it doesn’t read smoothly because you have grammatical errors throughout. Read it out loud to yourself to locate these errors.
    Develop consistency with your imagery. There are moments in this work where you are developing a very clear scene for the reader to get lost in and in these moments, you are using figurative devices (personification, metaphor) and specific vocabulary with control.
    Remember, imply some of the actions, feelings and details of your scene. ‘Show’ us the scene rather than telling us what is there.
    Look to expand some of your descriptions. At the moment, some of the layers of your scene are a little light in detail.
    Work on making the ‘imagination’ of the child clear. At the moment, the ‘creatures’ come out of no where and the connection between them and the scene is unclear.

    Mrs. P

    Reply

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